time for camp 2014 header

If your kids are going to camp this spring or summer, you may be wrestling with worries and what-ifs. What if the other kids are cliquish or mean? Will the camp director call me if she’s miserable? What if he wets the bed?

WHY PARENTS WORRY
“Much of our anxiety as parents stems from the fact that there are so many things we cannot control in our children’s lives,” says Paul Donahue, Ph.D., clinical psychologist and author of “Parenting Without Fear”. You may worry that without structure kids won’t be able to handle routine tasks like showering, brushing teeth or getting dressed. One mom I know felt so sure her son wouldn’t change clothes at camp that she packed his items – one pair of underwear, shorts, shirt, and socks – in gallon-size Ziploc bags, labeled with the days of the week.

Because parents focus so much on kids’ needs, it’s hard to step back. Coverage of natural disasters and child predators makes the world seem scary. “Concern about the safety of children has become something of a national obsession,” Donahue observes. Even though our protective instincts keep us on edge, sometimes we have to trust others to care for our kids, and trust our kids to look out for themselves.

Fear of letting go can also be driven by our own uncertainty about who we are without our kids and what we’ll do while they’re away. Without baseball practice, piano lessons, bedtime routines and movie night, our lives would be slower and saner and…emptier.

HOW TO STOP IT
Don’t let worries weigh you down. Use them as an opportunity to confront your own needs for safety, control and closeness. Here’s how.

Step back. Anxieties have a way of sucking you in. Your thoughts and emotions may be swirling like a tornado around you. Get out of the eye of the storm and reflect on your feelings. What (exactly) are your worries? Write them down so you can face them head on.

Question your assumptions. Fears may be fueled by irrational beliefs. Kids don’t suffer serious malnutrition from week-long candy binges. Wearing dirty clothes won’t kill them either. Concerned your temperamental child won’t fit in socially? Allow for the possibility she’ll find buddies to hang out with all on her own. Don’t let your beliefs limit kids’ potential.

Keep goals in mind. Ultimately, parents want kids to become self-reliant, says Donahue, and building self-reliance requires parents do less, not more for their kids. Camp builds competence and independence. Give your kids time to stretch beyond their comfort zones.

Have a plan. Keep anxieties in control by making a plan for how you’ll use your “time off.” Schedule special time with siblings who aren’t going to camp. Plan a romantic date or overnight getaway with your spouse. Learn something new or catch up on your favorite shows. Stay busy (but in a good way). You deserve a change of pace, too.

Share stories. One sure-fire way to break out of anxiety is to remember and share the fun times you had at camp with your kids. The time you flipped your canoe over and got sopping wet in the lake shouldn’t be a secret. Kids love to hear about parents’ adventures.

Stay connected. Find fun postcards, print pictures of family pets, and collect care-package items to send. Getting mail from home makes kids feel special. Resist the urge to check in: kids need space. Don’t forget to send supplies so your kids can send letters home. They’ll want to share their experiences and you’ll treasure their letters forever.

Anxiety is understandable, but it shouldn’t stop you from sending kids off to camp. It’s likely that many of your cherished childhood memories involve nature, new friends, and time to explore on your own – summer camp offers all these opportunities and more. It’ll be OK if they stay up too late, eat burned marshmallows, or lose their swim goggles in the lake. Really. 

-------------------
Heidi Smith Luedtke, is a personality psychologist and mom of two adventurous kids. She is the author of Detachment Parenting.

2024 Summer Camps & Programs

2024 Summer Camps & Programs

It's time to Fire Up for Camp season! Browse through your San Diego Summer Camps and Programs Guide to find awesome experiences where kids will learn new skills and make lifelong memories. Do you ha . . .

Read more

Countdown to Camp!

Countdown to Camp!

Activities that prepare kids for summer fun This year’s camp season promises to be bigger and better than ever! Parents, take advantage of summer break to send the kids to camp—it’s a unique . . .

Read more

Is Your Preschooler Ready for Day Camp?

Is Your Preschooler Ready for Day Camp?

There’s so much to love about summer camp: fun traditions, new friendships, the great outdoors, art, athletics and much more. Even the littlest campers can expect a positive experience. According . . .

Read more

10 Tips to Find the Right Day Camp

10 Tips to Find the Right Day Camp

Summer day camp is a place where children can learn new skills, acquire new interests and make new friends. But there is no one-size-fits-all camp. To find the right day camp for your child, conside . . .

Read more

So Many Camp Options: Which summer camps are best for kids?

So Many Camp Options: Which summer camps are best for kids?

Mom, my friends go to summer camp every year and have so much fun! Can I please go? Kids hear about fun camp activities from friends or how they met so many people, and they want to have the same . . .

Read more

Camp is More Essential than Ever 

Camp is More Essential than Ever 

One thing most parents agree on is that kids have missed out on important growth opportunities over the past several years. With the most acute stage of the pandemic behind us, the time has come to . . .

Read more

Junior Lifeguard Programs

Junior Lifeguard Programs

Have Fun this Summer with San Diego Junior Lifeguards Every summer thousands of kids in Junior Lifeguard uniforms gather at San Diego County beaches for a fun-filled, formative experience. Whether sw . . .

Read more

Top Five Reasons Kids Should Go to Camp

Top Five Reasons Kids Should Go to Camp

Summer camp can be one of the most rewarding, unforgettable experiences in a child’s life. Camp provides children with a community of caring mentors who provide experiential education that leads t . . .

Read more

How Not to Worry When Your Kid Goes to Camp

How Not to Worry When Your Kid Goes to Camp

If your kids are going to camp this spring or summer, you may be wrestling with worries and what-ifs. What if the other kids are cliquish or mean? Will the camp director call me if she’s miserable . . .

Read more

Is My 5-Year-Old Too Young for Full-Day Camp?

Is My 5-Year-Old Too Young for Full-Day Camp?

Wondering if your child is ready for full-day camp? See what preschool director Ms. Lydia has to say. Do you have a question about kids ages 2–6? See below for how to submit to "Ask Ms. Lydia." D . . .

Read more

Fun Ideas for Summer Camp Care Packages

Fun Ideas for Summer Camp Care Packages

Here are some fun ideas for summer camp care packages! Camp care packages do not need to be big. It is better to keep the summer camp care item simple—a card, a little love note, or a small box o . . .

Read more

5 Camp Strategies Parents Can Use to Help Kids Thrive

5 Camp Strategies Parents Can Use to Help Kids Thrive

Ask kids why they love camp, and you’ll often hear, “Because it’s FUN!” For many families, camp is an experience where kids have a great time doing things they don’t usually get to do. But . . .

Read more

12 Ways to Make Summer Learning Fun

12 Ways to Make Summer Learning Fun

Help your child retain reading, writing and math skills this summer without making it feel like work.  Incorporate learning into daily errands and interactive activities found in your own backy . . .

Read more

8 Free Camps for Kids Facing Adversity

8 Free Camps for Kids Facing Adversity

Millions of kids nationwide face adversities such as a parent having cancer, death of a loved one, their own cancer diagnosis or family substance abuse. Many organizations offer a reprieve for local . . .

Read more

Summer Camps for All Abilities

Summer Camps for All Abilities

  The abundant benefits of summer camp are for everyone, so if you have children, teens or young adults with developmental disabilities, a chronic medical condition or unique needs, don’t let . . .

Read more

Be Family Informed – Sign up for our Newsletters below!

Subscribe