father and daughter 101


Certain holidays and celebrations can be a little bit more difficult than others for a single parent. Valentine’s Day used to be one of those holidays for me, but I learned some fun personal and practical family activities to celebrate without feeling the Valentine Blues as a single dad.

Valentine’s Day with Your Children
The first thing I had to re-think for myself was the commercial aspect of Valentine’s Day. My mental picture of love letters, cards and flowers sent to the office, and a romantic dinner date was not the only way to see it happening for me.

Everything changes when you are divorced or widowed. When I was newly divorced, this holiday was just another date on the calendar that might or might not have fallen under my custody schedule. So the first year I discovered I had my children for the holiday, I celebrated Valentine’s Day with a special “Daddy Date.” I handwrote three invitations for my children and mapped out the evening’s activities to them on the invitation:
• A special dinner prepared by Dad featuring their favorite meal
• Dessert menu featuring fresh homemade cookies that we bake together
• My own handmade Valentine’s Day card with personal special wishes from Daddy
• A choice of one activity that we could all agree upon: bowling or a movie

My Daddy Date went perfectly, and I found the meal and all the activities brought us closer as a family.

Valentine’s Day as a Single Dad
On my first Valentine’s Day alone as a single parent, I had to think outside the box. Here’s what worked for me.

My community of friends really helped me out during my time of loneliness. There is a term nowadays where guys can go out and have a great time just being “the guys”… it’s called a “bro-mance.” My two best friends from college and high school took me out for some great food and great laughs. It made all the difference in the world for me to celebrate and realize that there is a difference between feeling lonely and being alone. As a single parent, we are never alone, but we can feel lonely. I realized that I am only a phone call away from anyone and that was a big life lesson learned that year.

My second suggestion comes from my Valentine’s Day this past year. I actually made a special meal for that special someone in my life: Me. It was another year of not having my three kids with me, and I actually was excited to have a rare and quiet evening to myself, just to enjoy my kitchen, prepare a big steak and sip a glass of red wine. My “dessert” was going to bed early, giving myself eight hours of sleep and actually feeling rested the next morning! I know anybody can relate to this subject of sleep, parenting and children. It was a great evening.

I hope my experiences help you create your own celebrations this year. Wherever you are, and whatever you do this Valentine’s Day, remember that as divorced and widowed single parents in transition, we all experience the same feelings and emotions.


-------------
A father of three, R.J. Jaramillo is the founder of Singledad.com, a Website dedicated to single parenting and its mission to “Make Life Happen … Again!” He lives in Scripps Ranch.

 

 

 

How to Celebrate Asian American Pacific Islander (AAPI) Heritage Month in San Diego

How to Celebrate Asian American Pacific Islander (AAPI) Heritage Month in San Diego

Asian American Pacific Islander (AAPI) Heritage Month is a celebration of Asians and Pacific Islanders in the United States. The term AAPI includes people with origins from dozens of countries from . . .

Read more

Celebrate Asian Pacific Islander Heritage Month

Celebrate Asian Pacific Islander Heritage Month

Celebrate the unique culture and contributions of Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders (AAPI) throughout the month of May and all year long! Our list of family-friendly AAPI Heritage Month events i . . .

Read more

Fun Ways to Celebrate Spring in San Diego

Fun Ways to Celebrate Spring in San Diego

By the time the first day of spring rolls around (March 19), San Diegans are usually ready for a “change in weather.” Let’s face it, a low of 48 degrees is downright freezing in these parts. (Le . . .

Read more

Celebrate AAPI Heritage Month with Dim Sum

Celebrate AAPI Heritage Month with Dim Sum

  With May being Asian American and Pacific Islander (AAPI) Heritage Month, families across the nation will be celebrating the rich cultural tapestry of the AAPI community. One way to participat . . .

Read more

12 Easy Ways to Care for the Earth

12 Easy Ways to Care for the Earth

It’s easy to let busyness of daily life push thoughts of being eco-friendly to the back burner. But caring for our planet might be easier than you think. Start small by trying one activity a month . . .

Read more

Memorial Day Events and Activities 2025

Memorial Day Events and Activities 2025

This Memorial Day Weekend, spend some time with your family honoring and remembering the sacrifices of our military heroes.  Don’t miss USS Midway’s Legacy Week, (May 23-May 26) an annua . . .

Read more

How to Have a Retro Summer

How to Have a Retro Summer

The kids are out of school—it’s time to simplify the schedule and encourage as much outdoor play as possible. Have an old-school, retro summer!   What is a Retro Summer? What does it mean . . .

Read more

Happy Father’s Day! 10 Creative Ways to Celebrate Dad

Happy Father’s Day! 10 Creative Ways to Celebrate Dad

Every dad needs reminders of how much he is loved and valued. While you don’t want to forgo handmade cards and the kids’ sweet ideas for Father’s Day or a birthday, these creative ways to cele . . .

Read more

119 Dad-Approved Gifts

119 Dad-Approved Gifts

Every Dad is unique, so have the kids spend time thinking about what they can do, make or give him that will speak to his soul and make him feel special, whether it's Father’s Day, Christmas or an . . .

Read more

25 Summer Boredom Busters

25 Summer Boredom Busters

Boredom is a precursor to creativity, so being bored is not all bad. But if you're ready for a change of pace, our boredom busters encourage families to get moving and start making memories! Go O . . .

Read more

Be Family Informed – Sign up for our Newsletters below!

Subscribe