father and daughter 101


Certain holidays and celebrations can be a little bit more difficult than others for a single parent. Valentine’s Day used to be one of those holidays for me, but I learned some fun personal and practical family activities to celebrate without feeling the Valentine Blues as a single dad.

Valentine’s Day with Your Children
The first thing I had to re-think for myself was the commercial aspect of Valentine’s Day. My mental picture of love letters, cards and flowers sent to the office, and a romantic dinner date was not the only way to see it happening for me.

Everything changes when you are divorced or widowed. When I was newly divorced, this holiday was just another date on the calendar that might or might not have fallen under my custody schedule. So the first year I discovered I had my children for the holiday, I celebrated Valentine’s Day with a special “Daddy Date.” I handwrote three invitations for my children and mapped out the evening’s activities to them on the invitation:
• A special dinner prepared by Dad featuring their favorite meal
• Dessert menu featuring fresh homemade cookies that we bake together
• My own handmade Valentine’s Day card with personal special wishes from Daddy
• A choice of one activity that we could all agree upon: bowling or a movie

My Daddy Date went perfectly, and I found the meal and all the activities brought us closer as a family.

Valentine’s Day as a Single Dad
On my first Valentine’s Day alone as a single parent, I had to think outside the box. Here’s what worked for me.

My community of friends really helped me out during my time of loneliness. There is a term nowadays where guys can go out and have a great time just being “the guys”… it’s called a “bro-mance.” My two best friends from college and high school took me out for some great food and great laughs. It made all the difference in the world for me to celebrate and realize that there is a difference between feeling lonely and being alone. As a single parent, we are never alone, but we can feel lonely. I realized that I am only a phone call away from anyone and that was a big life lesson learned that year.

My second suggestion comes from my Valentine’s Day this past year. I actually made a special meal for that special someone in my life: Me. It was another year of not having my three kids with me, and I actually was excited to have a rare and quiet evening to myself, just to enjoy my kitchen, prepare a big steak and sip a glass of red wine. My “dessert” was going to bed early, giving myself eight hours of sleep and actually feeling rested the next morning! I know anybody can relate to this subject of sleep, parenting and children. It was a great evening.

I hope my experiences help you create your own celebrations this year. Wherever you are, and whatever you do this Valentine’s Day, remember that as divorced and widowed single parents in transition, we all experience the same feelings and emotions.


-------------
A father of three, R.J. Jaramillo is the founder of Singledad.com, a Website dedicated to single parenting and its mission to “Make Life Happen … Again!” He lives in Scripps Ranch.

 

 

 

Celebrate July 4: Activities, Recipes & Crafts

Celebrate July 4: Activities, Recipes & Crafts

Spark up your July 4 celebration with our round-up of patriotic-inspired crafts and decorations, festive recipes and San Diego's Fourth of July festivities!   SAN DIEGO FIREWORKS & FES . . .

Read more

San Diego County Fair 2025: Tips, Deals & Discounts

San Diego County Fair 2025: Tips, Deals & Discounts

  Great news! San Diego’s favorite fair opens at the Del Mar Fairgrounds on June 11–July 6 (closed Mondays and Tuesdays). Below are the best 2025 San Diego County Fair tips, deals and disc . . .

Read more

July 4 Fireworks Shows & Festivities in San Diego

July 4 Fireworks Shows & Festivities in San Diego

  Add some spark to your 2025 Independence Day celebration with fireworks displays, parades, dinner cruises, and other star-spangled July 4 festivities. Here's what's happening in San Diego and . . .

Read more

Free Summer Concerts 2025

Free Summer Concerts 2025

San Diego’s Free Summer Concerts 2025 Start the summer on a high note! Here are outdoor gigs and free summer concerts happening throughout San Diego County in 2025.   CARLSBADTGIF Con . . .

Read more

Summer Fun Bingo for Families

Summer Fun Bingo for Families

Looking for awesome unplugged activities for the kids or family this summer? Use our free, printable Summer Bingo game as a guide. You’ll find quintessential summer fun like water balloon fights, su . . .

Read more

How to Have a Retro Summer

How to Have a Retro Summer

The kids are out of school—it’s time to simplify the schedule and encourage as much outdoor play as possible. Have an old-school, retro summer!   What is a Retro Summer? What does it mean . . .

Read more

San Diego Family's Ultimate Summer Sand-Bucket List

San Diego Family's Ultimate Summer Sand-Bucket List

San Diegans have it really rough—living in a top travel destination that many people dream of visiting. One thing is sure--there is no shortage of fun things to do, especially when the kids are ou . . .

Read more

31 Days of Summer Fun!

31 Days of Summer Fun!

Who’s ready to get out and have some fun in San Diego this summer? Here are 31 awesome ideas—one for every day in July. Plan a late-night date with the kids. We recommend going out for chocol . . .

Read more

10 Tips for Tackling Comic-Con with Kids

10 Tips for Tackling Comic-Con with Kids

You’ve thought about it and have decided to take the kids downtown San Diego during Comic-Con. There are things you can do to help navigate crowds and maximize fun. Here are helpful hints on how to . . .

Read more

25 Summer Boredom Busters

25 Summer Boredom Busters

Boredom is a precursor to creativity, so being bored is not all bad. But if you're ready for a change of pace, our boredom busters encourage families to get moving and start making memories! Go O . . .

Read more

Be Family Informed – Sign up for our Newsletters below!

Subscribe