When a child is born, the new mother and baby get most of the attention, but dads are undergoing change too. Here are eight quick tips to help first-time fathers adjust to having a new baby in the house.

1. Be a hands-on dad. Get involved in all aspects of childcare: bathing, feeding, reading, changing diapers and putting your baby to sleep. Note to moms: If dad needs a little coaching, give him the basics and let him develop his own style. Don’t criticize; offer encouragement to help him feel competent in his new role. Experience is the best teacher.

2. Recognize challenges. Some babies, such as those with colic, may be harder to soothe. If your baby is crying, look for obvious signs of discomfort: diaper change, hunger, fatigue or gas. Spend five to ten minutes on any one strategy. If it doesn’t work, try another one. Newborns can also suffer from over stimulation due to lights, motion, sounds and people; things that may seem normal are a drastic change from a quiet womb.

3. Communicate with outsiders. Take on the role of communicating with family and friends, setting limits and boundaries, if needed. If others offer to help, suggest practical ideas such as dropping off meals, running errands or watching the baby so you and your partner can take a walk. Extended family can be a huge help or significant stressor. Encourage well meaning but intruding relatives to refrain from giving unwanted input with regard to childcare.

4. Be supportive of Mom. One of the father’s biggest roles is to support the mother. Keep a constant line of communication open with one another and discuss how the adjustment is going. Talk about things that are working, and make suggestions for change where needed. Also, keep an eye out for signs of postpartum depression, which may have a delayed onset.

5. Find personal support. New dads may need an outlet where they can share their own concerns or stresses. Find a father support group or look for a friend who is or has gone through this stage in life. Also be aware of your emotions. If you feel anxious or depressed for an extended period of time, talk with your physician.

6. Nurture the couple relationship.
This will benefit parents and child. If extended family members are local, schedule occasional date nights. If this isn’t an option, look for creative ways to give the relationship attention: back or foot rubs, a note in one another’s lunchbox, a quick email sent to the office. Communication should include more than just baby talk. Also make time for intimacy; be sensitive to each other’s needs and work together to find a compromise.

7. Make time for self. While it may be impossible to maintain the before-baby lifestyle, determine what is most critical for each parent to relieve stress—sleep, exercise, time away from the house—and work that into the week.

8. Give it time. The more time fathers spend with their baby, the easier it will get. Right now things aren’t normal, but life will take on a new normal in time.

----------

Denise Morrison Yearian is the former editor of two parenting magazines and the mother of three children.

Published: June 2015




The Super Dentists' Mommy & Me Wellness Series

The Super Dentists' Mommy & Me Wellness Series

  As the spring season blooms, parents in the San Diego area are in for a treat with the launch of The Super Dentists' eagerly anticipated "Mommy & Me" Wellness Series.  Set to kick . . .

Read more

9 Ways to Encourage Peace Between Siblings

9 Ways to Encourage Peace Between Siblings

  Anyone with multiple children (or their own siblings) knows that sibling squabbles are a normal part of childhood. Even so, any type of ongoing or escalated family conflict wears parents down. . . .

Read more

Setting Healthy Boundaries with Gift-Giving Relatives

Setting Healthy Boundaries with Gift-Giving Relatives

It's a common problem. On one side are well-meaning relatives—grandparents, aunties and uncles—who want to shower the kids with gifts. On the other side are parents trying to raise children who . . .

Read more

Parenting with Purpose: Simplify Life and Help Your Family Thrive

Parenting with Purpose: Simplify Life and Help Your Family Thrive

This year, consider applying the springtime ritual of cleaning and getting things in order to all areas of your family’s life. Don’t just scrub corners and clear out closets—evaluate how too m . . .

Read more

Not a Perfect Parent? Not a Problem. How to Raise Emotionally Healthy Kids

Not a Perfect Parent? Not a Problem. How to Raise Emotionally Healthy Kids

  Wouldn’t it be wonderful to parent with confidence that our mistakes and imperfections won’t harm our kids? That despite our flaws, they will grow up emotionally healthy and well-balanced? . . .

Read more

Early Childhood Red Flags

Early Childhood Red Flags

Are you getting a sense that your child may be "different" from other children? Here are early childhood red flags that need attention.  “Einstein didn’t speak until he was 4 years old” . . .

Read more

The Key to Strengthening Family Bonds

The Key to Strengthening Family Bonds

  A family of four recently caught my eye at the beach. Lying side by side on a blanket under a cloudless sky, with sand toys and a picnic basket carefully laid out, this family had the makings . . .

Read more

Teaching Kids to Care: The unexpected power of essential life skills

Teaching Kids to Care: The unexpected power of essential life skills

  This is part one of a two-part series. Read part two in our November issue to learn how teaching kids to care for themselves and family naturally extends to caring for community.   It's . . .

Read more

Why and How to Delay Giving Kids a Phone

Why and How to Delay Giving Kids a Phone

When I set out to write this article, I was hoping to provide an antidote to the alarming stories I’d read about kids and smartphones. However, the research really does paint a clear picture. Stud . . .

Read more

Parenting with Purpose: Solving the Mystery of Afternoon Meltdowns

Parenting with Purpose: Solving the Mystery of Afternoon Meltdowns

Ever wonder why kids seem to unleash their negative emotions as soon as they come home from school or daycare? A local dad (who wishes to remain anonymous) describes what many parents experience: . . .

Read more

Parenting with Purpose: Healthy Risk-Taking Helps Kids Thrive

Parenting with Purpose: Healthy Risk-Taking Helps Kids Thrive

It's a fact of life for every parent. Part of our job is to reduce risk and ensure the safety of the tiny humans placed in our care. After all, risks seem scary, right? Even the dictionary equates r . . .

Read more

How and Why to Develop  Growth Mindset in Kids

How and Why to Develop Growth Mindset in Kids

Is intelligence something you’re born with or something that develops? Is failure an opportunity to learn and grow, or something that impedes success? How a parent answers these questions greatly . . .

Read more

How to Make a Family Technology Contract

How to Make a Family Technology Contract

We raise our kids to be polite and respectful in person so why wouldn't we stress those same values in the online environment? A digital citizenship contract will help spell out your expectations of . . .

Read more

Turn Words Into Action: Create a Family Action Plan for Change

Turn Words Into Action: Create a Family Action Plan for Change

For families who want to be part of the change to end racial inequality, there's never been a better time to create a family action plan. A thoughtful plan, built around empathy and compassion, equi . . .

Read more

Give Your Family the Gift of Laughter

Give Your Family the Gift of Laughter

I was born on April 1, so I know a thing or two about humor. April Fools’ Day jokes and gifts make celebrating my birthday an adventure in laughter. I once received a large box of dirt topped with . . .

Read more

Parenting with Purpose: Raising Resilient Kids

Parenting with Purpose: Raising Resilient Kids

Teaching children how to do difficult things comes with parenting. We coach and encourage kids through frustration, tears and bursts of anger as they learn to tie shoes, write their names and ride a . . .

Read more

Be Family Informed – Sign up for our Newsletters below!

Subscribe