It's Prom Season! High School proms have little resemblance to the ones parents had in their high school days. Most proms today are held in fancy venues where teens arrive in limousines and party buses. Teens are decked out in fancy clothes, some spending as much as they would to get outfitted for a wedding. Needless to say, the price tag for this extravagant evening can cause havoc with parents and teens and threaten to bankrupt a household budget. However, even though proms can cause parental headaches, prom is still a special milestone in an adolescent’s life, so it’s most important to spend time helping your teen plan a safe and memorable evening.
Here are some tips to share with your teen:
Dates
The “big issue” among teens used to be “do you have a date?” Today, plenty of kids go to proms solo or in friend groups. Assure your teen that having a date is not a big issue and that they should consider going in a group if they would like to attend their prom.
Money
Proms can be very expensive, so it’s common for some couples or groups to share costs. Meals and transportation can be shared. This should be discussed prior to the event so kids can plan accordingly and save money.
Plan Ahead
Help your teen make arrangements for transportation, restaurants, tux rental and flowers early. Kids will be disappointed when reservations have already been taken, so planning ahead can help avoid disappointment. Some vendors offer discounts to teens who book early.
Flowers
Advise your teen that if her date brings a corsage, she should wear it! For guys who have no clue as to what goes with his date’s dress, suggest that he can’t go wrong with white. They should consider roses, baby’s breath, freesia, stephanotis and carnations. All are pretty and smell terrific. The florist can help teens stay within their budget. For girls, a boutonniere is still a nice gesture to give their date. A simple rosebud works. Ask the florist if they offer a magnet instead of a pin for the boutonniere -- it's so much easier!
Formal or Semi-Formal
Formal usually means long gowns and tuxedos. Semi-formal can be short dresses and suits or dinner jackets. If your teen is inviting a date from another school, inform the date in advance about what to wear.
Pictures
Make a plan to take photos — when and where before the event. Parents taking photos can be awkward for some kids, so be sure to discuss it beforehand.
Talk About Safety
Talk with your teens about safety. Other parents are probably as cautious as you are and have some of the same concerns. Teens like to stay out all night. If you are not comfortable with the idea of a hotel, maybe a parent can host an “all-night” party for friends. Kids can change into comfortable clothes, dance and watch videos through the wee hours. Serve a fancy breakfast in the morning.
Caution Against Drinking
So many deaths of teens result from car accidents and many are alcohol-related, according to Mothers Against Drunk Driving. Warn your teen about drinking and using drugs. If you choose to hold an after-prom party, make sure no one brings alcohol or drugs into your home.
Don't Leave Beverages Unsupervised
Make sure girls know not to leave drinks where someone can slip a drug into it. Date rape drugs can leave girls helpless to resist rape and unable to recall what happened.
Arrange Transportation
Limousines are expensive, but a safe means of transportation. If this is out of your budget, make sure there is a safe alternative and designated driver for the evening. If using Uber or Lyft, have kids travel with a buddy or several friends.
Be Available
Make sure your teen knows where to reach you throughout the evening. If you plan to be out, keep your phone on.
Curfew
Set a time when you expect your teen home. Remind him to let you know that he has arrived home safely and to call if there is any delay.
Fun
Don’t forget to tell your kids to have a great time!
As parents, we hope kids will follow these guidelines. But what works best in the long run is helping teens arrive at their own decisions—the right decisions. If we force our kids to do things our way, they learn something about us. If we allow them the time and the space to make up their own minds, they learn something about themselves.
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Tania Cowling is an author, freelance writer, former teacher and mother. www.taniacowling.com